1. Inform him that you have just joined
a strict Christian sect which bans music, alcohol, dancing,
smoking, black pepper and sex.
2. Lead the conversation around to your
sisterly feelings for him and inform him that you will always think
of him as a brother.
3. Tell him of your recent reading of
The Golden Bough and describe the sacrifice of the Summer
King—in detail.
4. Steer him towards a complaisant
young woman in need of a good time.
5. Pick his pocket.
6. Spill your drink down his shirt. In
extreme cases, a fork in the groping hand or a cup of hot coffee
in the crotch is a guaranteed
distraction.
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